Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
