Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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