Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
