we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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