I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
