I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I need to sanitize my soul.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
