There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
