My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
