Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
