Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
