Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
