Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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