Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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