It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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