4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
