During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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