it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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