Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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