Someone shit on the floor
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
