You're earring is so big in my mouth
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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