If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
