hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
