I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
