Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
