Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Thank you for not boning my boss.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
