Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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