I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
