it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
