If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
