Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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