Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
