; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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