Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
