She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
