Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
