Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
