i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
