She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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