Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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