just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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