Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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