i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
