It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
