Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
