just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
