i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
