Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
