we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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