You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
