You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
