babies were throwing up all over the place
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
