can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
